


Forever

by Ransomchild (moon_witch)



Category: Supernatural, destiel - Fandom
Genre: And in denial, Dean is Bad at Feelings, F/F, F/M, M/M, Soulmate AU, Very long and angsty, cas is very unaware
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-01
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2019-03-21 13:30:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13741938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moon_witch/pseuds/Ransomchild
Summary: DestielIn which Dean and Cas have matching soulmate marksMy description sucks but I promise the actual fic is better





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Dean thinks of Castiel

I’ve gotten stuck with the nickname of my childhood friend (and best friend I’ve got) branded on the inside of my lip in shining gold where my soulmate's name is supposed to be? The word Amore is ruining my life, definitely, it’s the word. Not the warmth I feel when I’m even ten feet from Castiel. Or the yearning I have towards Castiel that I’ve never felt towards anyone or anything else. I remember playing “soulmate” with Castiel as a kid, it was rather common for kids to pretend to be each other's soulmate, sort of like playing house. It was pretty much one of the only things we really did as kids, that and raid Gabriel's candy stash. “Hey, Dean?” I heard Castiel's voice in the dark from the other side of the bed. “Yeah Amore?” I whispered back. I feel him curl closer to me. “What if we were soulmates?” His gentle breath flowing into the air between us. “Zach said sometimes you can choose your soulmate, I’d choose you, Ty !” I giggled “That’d be super cool Castiel, I’d pick you too.” he snuggles closer and I hug him. “You’d be a great soulmate Dean.” I smile. “We could live in that big house we saw on the beach and get a million-bajillion cats!” He giggles this time, the dim light shows him scrunch up his nose as he giggles. “Pinky promise?” “Pinky promise.” We entwined our pinkies, and fell asleep like that, curled together as we entwined our pinkies, and fell asleep like that, curled together as though we were connected, his soft gentle breaths on my chest and my face snuggled on top of his fluffy black hair. This memory only serves to makes things more complicated with Castiel, before my mark showed up on my sixteenth birthday, I could just chill out with Castiel, no confusion, I could chock it up to being close, could fool myself into thinking it was just the way friends; who had known each other as long as we had thought of each other. We had known each other since we were just two little toddlers sleeping together during naptime and sharing the much sought after fruit snacks, so it wasn’t uncommon for me to find myself daydreaming about Castiel's smile or the way his indigo eyes seemed to shine brighter than my mark. The ever growing, abundance of my thoughts and feelings toward Castiel is sucking me in, the urge to just grab him and kiss him until I can’t recuperate grows stronger the longer I think about him, but to him I am just a friend, and it seems as though he is trying to keep it that way. He didn’t even tell me what his mark meant, we share a birthday so he had come over to celebrate and wait for our marks (mine came first). When his mark showed up he just looked in the mirror, turned a queasy shade of green and ran from my room without saying goodbye. I have to admit that I had snuck a look at his mark the next time he stayed over. All it said was “Nasinosis” how am I supposed to know what Nasisonis means? I mean for all I know it could mean Dean but that isn’t really a nickname. I can’t ever remember having a nickname, how the ever living inferno am I ever supposed find my soulmate. I’ve tried to figure out Nasisonis is, believe me, I even put it through google translate. Not even google can tell me what Nasisonis means. I went as far to ask my parents and Castiel's. I can’t remember a summer we spent apart or a week we didn’t spend at each others house, studying or provoking Zach until he snaps, but no luck, they said that “it was something I had to discover myself” or whatever that means. It hurts to have this powerful craving towards Castiel, because of this I’ve gained a bit of a habit of pulling down my lip when no one is around to check if the writing is still the same; even though I know that soulmate marks never change. I’ll pull my lower lip down to check in my small iron mirror if the writing is still the same, it seems to glow brighter every time I check; taunting me. I really shouldn’t check it as often as I do, I risk my little brother, Sam figuring out what it says (His Italian is much better than mine) He’d figure it out and tell Castiel’s younger brother in the blink of an eye. It’s in times like these that I wish my mother were here, as a little kid I remember her mollifying me when Castiel couldn’t come over, or when our cat died. I just know that if she were here she could help me fix this mayhem. 

So! One chapter finished, only about 59 chapters to go! That's right this fic is planned to be very long, I'll try to update at least once a week, maybe more! Please vote and comment.


	2. Nasisonis

They're so green they look wild and unconquered but at the same time soft and protecting. They're an enigma, one second they are a cool breeze through the trees, the next they are lightning against the charcoal black sky. I can't find a single word that correctly explains Dean Winchester's eyes; believe me, I've tried but it always falls out, a jumbled mess of complements and colors. His eyes were stunning but the second you saw his freckles you're done for. They litter his face, as though he has captured the kuiper belt to cover his cheeks. I shouldn't be thinking this of him, he's not my soulmate, what would Nasisonis think? I asked Luci if outside of soulmates people could have attraction, he said that we could, but that it would be sexual, not romantic; But that doesn't make sense, I don't want to have intercourse with Dean. I just want to count his freckles and get lost in his eyes. It took me about a month to figure out what it said, when I had turned sixteen I was been obsessed with enochian and pre-enochian languages . I realize now that if I wouldn't have been obsessed with enochian it might have been in english, that would have made the whole process of figuring out that it said freckles much faster. I the only problem is I can't seem to think of a single person I called freckles. When we were kids everyone used to play 'soulmates' I remember Dean and I playing it, but other kids played soulmates too, so it was no clue.  
"I wiped tears from my face, no one had given me a valentine. I had bought exactly thirty-five valentines so that I could give everyone a card and some candy but no one in my class had done the same. The bell rung above my desk signalling that it was recess time. I got up slowly, I didn't want to go out and be with all the kids who had been given cards and candy galore. The kids in front of me were shoving each other to get out of the stuffy classroom, desperate to get onto the lushous dark green grass growing all around the school. As I pushed out the door to the playground. The hot Louisiana sun bakes my neck as I stand to the side of the door watching the other kids with their friends. I didn't see Dean anywhere, then I felt a sweaty hand grabbing mine and pulling me towards the garden beside the door. They began to jog to the graded, their hand clutching mine in a seemingly unbreakable bond. As they jolted to a stop I realized it was Dean clutching my hand in his. He smiled at me excitedly then pulled the prettiest, bright red rose I had ever seen. I couldn't hold in my gasp. I immediately pulled him into a hug. "Mom said today was the day you gave the person you love a rose!" He smiled a smile that could rival the brightness of the sun. I giggled, "That's what my moms told me!" He gently handed me the rose and I smiled  bright smile, a real smile. We ended up laying on the grass watching the clouds and missing the bell for recess.  
Now it was second grade, I had remembered breaking down yesterday because Claire told me that sometimes soulmates never find each other. I looked up and Dean was peering at me from the collar of his flannel blushing. Dean blushed darker, so his freckles were barely noticeable as he pulled his head out of his collar and handed me a note.  
To: Cassie  
From: Dean  
If you don't find your soulmate we could get married and live  together and get that kitten your moms won't let you.  
Dean blushed darker red as I read and re-read the note. I blushed too and shook my head yes and Dean pulled his head back into his shirt to hide his blush. I couldn't contain my soft giggles and began to giggle excitedly. That's the good part about being a kid, nothing seems real.  
That memory still calms me when I think I won't find my soulmate. Even when Dean asked what 'Nasisonis' meant and I refused to tell him these memories comfort me.

Hey guys! Really digging this story and I figured before I do my math I should update again so there's actually something to read!


	3. Sycophantam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sabriel chapter

Sycophantam   
Sam POV  
The trickster, the trickster that pranks everyone; even teachers. The trickster that is my closest friend, the one that is rarely seen without some sort of lolly in his mouth, his nickname is tattooed on my lip in glowing blue ink. Gabriel is my sycophantam, as far as I know, he is my soulmate. However, it is possible that when his mark reveals itself it won’t be my nickname. I know that it’s happened before, one person has the nickname of others but they aren’t both soulmates; he could be my soulmate but I might not be his. I pray every night to g-d that his birthday will reveal me as his soulmate. I don’t know if I could take that not happening. I mean even the things he does with his lollies drive me insane, I am utterly in love with him. I even remember when we were younger and used to play together during Castiel and Dean’s playdates  
“Gaby!” We were in my room in the massive blanket fort that Cassie and Dean had built before they went to bed. The light from our flashlights were shining dad’s old flannel blankets. “Yeah, moosie?” I heard Gabe's voice come from beside me in the sleeping bag. “Wanna play stuffies?” I heard myself chirp. I heard Gabe get out to grab stuffies from my meticulously organized closet. “Ow! Ow, ow, ow!” I heard Gabe fall down and hit the ground hard. I frantically got up and shoved my way out of the fort. I could see Gabe's form in the dark on the shaggy carpet. I plopped down next to his fallen form. “You okay Gaby?” I heard him whimper before he responds “I just hit my arm, nothing to cry about moosie!” I hadn’t noticed the tears streaming down my face until he pointed them out. I rub furiously at my eyes with the back of my hand. I see him sit up and sling his noninjured arm around my shoulders. I grab his hand and pull him up and walk gingerly back the blanket fort in front of us, hands still intertwined and pull him into the sleeping bag.”  
I remember so many nights like that, every time he’d come over since then we had slept in my bed together, enjoying the warmth of the other person. Even now we still sleep together, I had began to enjoy the soft, sweet smelling breaths he’d exhale into my shirt in the smalls of the morning. I don’t know how well I’d function if I didn’t have those quiet mornings together to look forward too. I hope when Gabriel comes over to celebrate we’ll be celebrating more than that he’s now allowed to drive legally, I hope we’re celebrating being soulmates. If we aren’t I’ll have to fake that I’m happy he found his soulmate, even though I’ll be mourning the loss of our future together, the only thing I am certain about is that he will always be my soulmate. I haven’t even told him what sycophantam means, for a trickster he is not very aware of the world around him.  
“ Sammoose watch out!” I hear Gabriel shout from behind me. I move out of the way just in time for a very excited and clumsy Gabe to stumble to the bedside table and set down the three cups of assumedly stolen coffee down. One of them sloshes onto his hands. “Well Sammy, will you be joining this Harry Potter marathon?” I smile and nod, he really does know how to cheer me up. He wordlessly hands me a slightly burnt chocolate chip cookie and slings his arm around my shoulders, pulling me close to the warmth of his body.”   
We spent the next twelve hours marathoning HP, only stopping to get food and use the restroom.I hadn’t thought about anything other than Gabe and Harry Potter for those wonderful twelve hours. Not even the pressures of my finals coming up and the possibility of failure could stop me from smiling that night. It is my happiest memory to this day, not even my S.A.T score could top the joy I felt that night or the initial happiness I felt when I read my lip for that first time, before all the fear and anxiety made themselves known. At least I’m not alone in this, Dean hasn’t told me but I can hear him through let out heart wrenching sobs through the wall. Dean isn’t the only one who reads hebrew, or for that matter speaks yiddish. After his get together with Cas on his birthday I saw him look in the mirror crying and tear at his lips, as though he was trying to rip them from his face. My reaction was different, I cried tears of joy. I already knew my soulmate, I’d known him since I was a little kid. I wouldn’t have to spend my entire life looking for someone I didn’t know, I wouldn’t die without ever meeting my love, but after the initial giddiness left I shook in fear, because I knew as his mark revealed itself it may not be me. I don’t even know how my mom and dad would react to us, it didn’t even matter that we weren’t blood, they are the only parents I remember ever having.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so short, I’m working on a longer chapter right now but it’s a snow day so I’ll post again soon


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